Wheel Blues

It’s hard to read about a book and want the same things for yourself. They are only fiction - and so what you want also resides in imagination.

What’s harder is that you know you could have what you want, if only you had the right time and the right place.

And the hardest is accepting that you might never have that chance, ever.

Life is not just a spinning wheel. It is, and should be, a moving one. You’re up and then down, but you have to leave the ground you are on. That’s the purpose of its spinning - to move on.
But, like I said, I live by no motto.

I’m just moving forward, not going up or down, just moving in uncertainty, and obviously not moving on.

I am just a wheel in a vehicle, and someone drives it for me. I cannot go the other way to relive and re-experience the ground I was on if my driver wants to go ahead.

I am a tire. I could mess up and get nailed or something during the trip, and I should be replaced because I am slowing the vehicle down.

Darn me for destroying myself.